Topic: A Life Thread
In a forum of political argument, scientific thought processes, doubt and building technical knowledge, we don't talk much about the act of living outside of some of the darker sides of it. Depression, suicide, drug use and perceptual change on substances, dreams...
What about actual life? Not day to day actions, but the only moments that make life worth it? I haven't had many. Some of the best times I've had in my life were in my dreams. Infact, probably almost ALL of my favorite memories were had in dreams. But percentually, what's the difference between live perception and memory based perception? It's just chemistry and physics in the brain, the only difference is apparently objectivity of live perception, but to our neural connections there isn't a difference. Sometimes (see, a lot of times) I like to think of these instances as real. I've documented a few in my blog, but they are far and inbetween.
Sometimes I want to be a fixture in a video game. A bartender, someone of importance, sure, but a fixture nonetheless. Interactive, but not a main character. Like I'm a guy who does a constant job, but he's happy. They have this term in English: One dimentional characters. Sometimes that's what I want to be. I want to be complex, but one dimentional. Unchanging, but deep. I think we all expect to be, when we're older, but it's never going to happen. When you were 12, did you think when you were 20 you would still be unsure? Still have doubts that you're doing the right thing? It'll be the same when you're 30 or 40, you won't have figured it all out. Nobody ever does. Imagine being an enlightened one dimentional character? Like you DO have it figured out. What if you were a full character, a filled out character that has it all figured out? In literature, that's still considered one dimentional, or maybe there's another term, because it's unrealistic.
(A guy is playing a ukelele.)
I had a friend once who told me that the worst mistake that you can make is to think you are alive, when you're really asleep in life's waiting room. The trick is to combine your waking rational abilities with the infinite possibilities of your dreams. 'Cause if you can do that you can do anything. Did you ever have a job that you hated? Worked really hard at? A long, hard day at work, finally you get to go home, get in bed, close your eyes, and immediately you wake up and realize that the whole day at work had been a dream? It's bad enough that you sell your waking life for ... for minimum wage, but now they get your dreams for free.
And like manipulating emotion through text, through voice, through acting. I can do that through text. That guy up there in that quote just did it. If you were paying attention, reading like a good reader should, you felt his emotion he was trying to convey. If you could see him (in the movie waking life) you could feel the mutual disdain that builds, the comraderie of having to deal with living life and working. And the guy seems completely relaxed and unworried while sending you through these emotions, then reassuringly laughs with you. Like he's that enlightened one dimentional character.
And then I just realized HOLY MOTORS or w/e is featured in a way.