I woke up today around 12 noon. I got out of bed around 2 and prepared to take public transit down to the welfare office. As I left my moms basement, up the stairs and out the door, I saw a car in my neighbors yard. It had a for sale sign on it.
At first I thought, this bastard capitalist is oppressing me. If he is not going to use that car, I will. It is just as much my car as it is every body else's. Marx and Kropotkin would concur.
I knocked on his door. My neighbor came out. I told him I would like to use the car. He told me to get a job and buy it from him. I felt all kinds of feels. A job? That is for the bourgeoisie. What an asshole.
I punched him in the penis and testicles really hard. Then I dragged his ass into the street and shot him execution style. "Don't fuck with the proletariat! " I yelled at him. I knew Stalin would be proud.
Within minutes, the cops showed up. His wife, horrified and hysterical had witnessed the whole thing and dialed 911.
I tried to explain to them that I was on their side. That I did what I had to do for the good of the community. They hit me really hard with their batons, cuffed me, threw me in the backseat and called me a faggot.
When I arrived in prison, I was terrified. I thought I would get killed. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I would not. A man named Leroy had informed me that I would be the community pussy. That made me feel important. I was helping my new friends.
Prison is like a dream come true. I have little freedom. I get to wait on line for poorly made food. I have one set of clothes, and we are all equal.
the best part is getting to work without any compensation. Actually ...wait... they pay me 12 cents a day... oh God no.... my Communist Utopia has sold me out... no. I have sold out my fellow Communists.. I have accidentally become the bourgeoisie...
Oh what sweet irony.
The struggle will continue.
fight on sweet comrades.
The Grasshopper Lies Heavy