Jokes go here or whatever.
"A woman tries getting on a bus, but realizes her skirt is too tight. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, but only to discover that she couldn't.
With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
After becoming quite frusturated and embarassed, she once again attempted to unzip her skirt more in order to allow more leg room to get on the first step of the bus.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus,
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
The texan smiled and drawled "Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times I kinda figured we were friends."
"Two men go into a bar with the intention of drinking some beer. After ordering two big glasses and guzzling them down they realize they're short on the tab.
One of the men has an idea. He works at a meat factory and pulls out a salami from his back pack.
"I''ll unzip my pants, pull the salami out from my pants flap, you suck on it and luckily we'll get kicked out for making a scene," he says.
The other guy is hesitant, but eventually musters up the courage to go along with the act. The man pulls out the salami from his backpack, slides it under the table, puts it in his pants, pulls it partially out of his pants flap, and the other guy sucks and gags on it. It happens as the man suggested and they are promptly kicked out of the bar. They begin to realize the endless possibilities and they soon go from bar to bar, ordering tons of beer, drinking it, and using the salami as a way out of their sticky situations.
The sun is about to set and the other guy suggest they go to one last bar before calling it quits. The guy looks around for the salami.
"Where's the salami?" he asks.
"I don't know. I lost it in the first bar."