Topic: Do you ever feel like it's pointless?
My mind is always messed up. this whole world is just a point of view. I mean the way I see the world is so radically different from just one year ago. It really doesn't have any purpose does it? To live in this world, it is all survival. There is no class. You don't have a place in the world. There is no power. We are all either living or dead. We are all going towards death and we are all going to die. Trump is going to die. Bill Gates is closer to death than most people, but further from death to the man who will die in a car accident today. Our lives are so fucking fragile, and we get caught up in how people will perceive us. Will X person like me? They think I'm a loser right?
No one wins or loses. We all die. It doesn't matter afterwards. Who knows if anything is even real? Maybe everyone you've ever seen is an invention of your own design. Maybe you are your own god. When everything is laid out, most of it is irrelevant. You can take some substances and it can alter your whole world view. Even our minds are fragile enough to be influenced this way. Why should we worry so much?
I remember being 16 and I wanted to think everything was meaningless. I felt very free somehow, in that thought. It didn't matter that I said that thing in the past. The moment was over, and when the solar system turns to dust, it will have really never happened. No memory of it probably even exists except for your own. That bad thing you did, it doesn't even exist. The moment is gone, and only a vague snapshot is there in the hippocampus. The event you think of in your past, it is a fake.
So how meaningless can this get? Well if you can close your eyes and sleep and dream. That dream becomes the real world. Until you wake up, your perception is that world. That world must be equivalent to this one in your mind. You can't know what is outside of your own personal perception. Why try to find out? It is futile.