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#1 2016-03-31 05:42:05

Derchin
Member
Registered: 2012-06-13
Posts: 3,007

You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

Rules:

* You start off with absolutely nothing and you have to make it to D.C. from wherever you are currently located.

* You can't morph into nothing fictitious, only realistic, man-made objects.

* You can only morph into one object at a time, meaning if you wanted to change into another object you'd have to turn back into a person then morph into that object

* To make this a bit challenging you can't morph into any combat vehicle. This includes tanks, jets, helicopters and armored vehicles.

* You can only kill the president. No side casualties at all (so you might want to rethink your plan about changing into a bomb or poisonous gas.)

* You lose if you get arrested, die/get killed, or if someone sees you morph.

Last edited by Derchin (2016-03-31 05:48:12)


"Remember, misery is comfortable. It's why so many people prefer it. Happiness takes effort."

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#2 2016-03-31 06:43:39

loon_attic
Banned
Registered: 2012-06-08
Posts: 10,259

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

a fucking mosquito with like ebola or whatever, easy
to get there i'd morph into a... maybe a raven, idk. an eagle? but they're rather constrained in range and give too much attention.


sloth wrote:

Comfy does not provide challenge, challenge provides success, success provides happiness. Our world is not comfy, although we tried to make it so. Slaves of our own inventions, yada, yada. Not only on a technological level, also on a social and political level. Nothing more but apes. Apes with psychosomatic disorders.

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#3 2016-03-31 07:12:10

loon_attic
Banned
Registered: 2012-06-08
Posts: 10,259

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

inb4 fbi raid


sloth wrote:

Comfy does not provide challenge, challenge provides success, success provides happiness. Our world is not comfy, although we tried to make it so. Slaves of our own inventions, yada, yada. Not only on a technological level, also on a social and political level. Nothing more but apes. Apes with psychosomatic disorders.

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#4 2016-03-31 09:05:43

sloth
WITNESS ME
From: Spurdoland
Registered: 2012-06-17
Posts: 7,801

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

A plane. A plane is not excluded from the list. I'd morph into an airliner and fly to America. There I would morph back when everybody left me (sure would have a lot of people inside me, which is pretty gay). Now I could go on as a bird, since I have land, and where there is land there is water and food and resting places. I'd fly to the white house. Then I'd morph into a paper and fly across the room, cutting obamas pulse line at the neck in the progress.

Easy.

Or I could morph into a submarine, but I'm afraid of the ocean at some point, for unknown dangers lurk below.

Last edited by sloth (2016-03-31 09:06:41)


Hindsight is always 20/20.

God wrote:

A surprising amount of insight can be gleamed from sitting on the toilet. More concerning, however, is the amount of nostalgia. neutral

When in doubt, move north. God bless suomi.

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#5 2016-03-31 10:02:19

loon_attic
Banned
Registered: 2012-06-08
Posts: 10,259

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

i could morph into a plane but then I would arouse all sorts of fucking attention from radars and flight control and i could get shot down if i flew into some area that was government something

there's gotta be some bird that can fly better and for longer distances than ravens and still be common and not easy prey?

You can only morph into one object at a time, meaning if you wanted to change into another object you'd have to turn back into a person then morph into that object

And how long does it take to morph? If it's just a picosecond I don't see how that latter sentence is relevant, except if stuck in a small space or something. and changing size so quickly would create quite the shockwave...

On Winter, I could ironically be a bald eagle. Their range spans all the US then... apparently


sloth wrote:

Comfy does not provide challenge, challenge provides success, success provides happiness. Our world is not comfy, although we tried to make it so. Slaves of our own inventions, yada, yada. Not only on a technological level, also on a social and political level. Nothing more but apes. Apes with psychosomatic disorders.

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#6 2016-03-31 10:43:49

sloth
WITNESS ME
From: Spurdoland
Registered: 2012-06-17
Posts: 7,801

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

Thats why you morph into a plane that looks like a scheduled flight, dummy.


Hindsight is always 20/20.

God wrote:

A surprising amount of insight can be gleamed from sitting on the toilet. More concerning, however, is the amount of nostalgia. neutral

When in doubt, move north. God bless suomi.

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#7 2016-03-31 16:42:28

TheWake
Illuminatus Sacerdos
From: Yankee-Occupied South
Registered: 2012-06-09
Posts: 8,272

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

can you have an accomplice?


The Grasshopper Lies Heavy

WsEkePS.png

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#8 2016-03-31 17:00:55

brainiac3397
Machiavellian Amoeba
From: A Dimension of Pure Insanity
Registered: 2013-12-20
Posts: 4,914

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

Train to DC. Become bird at night. Land tree, become squirrel(in safe location), approach the building by climbing it(cause squirrels can climb), find an opening, turn into a fly, land on wall and wait till coast clear, turn into a college book with the name of one of the president's daughter in it. Wait paitently till someone drops me off in their bedroom, wait coast clear, stand on a table, turn into a pen, wait till night and everyone sleep, turn into human, become a venemous snake, bite obama, slither into a closet or something, turn into a fly, fly out, become bird again, get to safe location, become human, then take train back home.

But I wouldn't want to kill Obama cause I like Obama. I'd just steal his presidential pen.


"Creepy crazy fucking idiot Nr. 873894532"-aCol

Wes wrote:

^^ funny
this guy
the most well written and verbose shitposter on the internet

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#9 2016-03-31 20:58:00

V.R.
receive {_, _} -> void.
Registered: 2013-04-02
Posts: 5,352

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

brainiac3397 wrote:

I like Obama.

Absolutely undialectical, comrade.


"Humanity Is Overrated" - Shrek

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#10 2016-03-31 21:03:20

Fish20
sea creature
From: crabgrass
Registered: 2012-06-11
Posts: 4,563
Website

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

Take train to DC, turn into fly, go to White House, turn into top secret important paper, before he comes in turn into fly again and go under desk turn back into a person then into a mine when he comes in it will go off when he sits down


There are no clear way to learn it unlike html and css who are actually funny to learn and explore.

Quotes:

sloth wrote:

Hold your head down and you won't get hurt. You'll get exploited, abused and spit on, but hey at least you're safe. Fuck that. I have one life to live, and I'll live it my fucking way. Go on. Stand in my way. See what happens. See what happens when a good guy snaps.

sloth wrote:

There are cemetery for living people. They are called "cubicles". And "assembly line". And "McDonalds". And any other full of shit job you can think about. It's where you are dying every day so you can live on a few select days of your life. If you're not to powered out from working.

loon_attic wrote:

everything is shit and people love it because they're hipster masochists or something

absentinsomniac wrote:

she said to eat her out w/ an ice curbe but nah goodnight lol

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#11 2016-04-01 00:02:13

loon_attic
Banned
Registered: 2012-06-08
Posts: 10,259

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

V.R. wrote:
brainiac3397 wrote:

I like Obama.

Absolutely undialectical, comrade.

OBAMA SI, CASTRO NO
REMOVE COMMIE


sloth wrote:

Comfy does not provide challenge, challenge provides success, success provides happiness. Our world is not comfy, although we tried to make it so. Slaves of our own inventions, yada, yada. Not only on a technological level, also on a social and political level. Nothing more but apes. Apes with psychosomatic disorders.

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#12 2016-04-01 00:04:41

loon_attic
Banned
Registered: 2012-06-08
Posts: 10,259

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

sloth wrote:

Thats why you morph into a plane that looks like a scheduled flight, dummy.

dem peaches if you just hav epeaches and it's just peaches and cream all the time, it'd just be a dessert ya dumbo


sloth wrote:

Comfy does not provide challenge, challenge provides success, success provides happiness. Our world is not comfy, although we tried to make it so. Slaves of our own inventions, yada, yada. Not only on a technological level, also on a social and political level. Nothing more but apes. Apes with psychosomatic disorders.

Offline

#13 2016-04-01 00:45:18

loon_attic
Banned
Registered: 2012-06-08
Posts: 10,259

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

k it's your funeral as a blown up plane, or maybe you'll somehow manage to understand the cunts on the radio and all that shit


sloth wrote:

Comfy does not provide challenge, challenge provides success, success provides happiness. Our world is not comfy, although we tried to make it so. Slaves of our own inventions, yada, yada. Not only on a technological level, also on a social and political level. Nothing more but apes. Apes with psychosomatic disorders.

Offline

#14 2016-04-01 03:34:49

brainiac3397
Machiavellian Amoeba
From: A Dimension of Pure Insanity
Registered: 2013-12-20
Posts: 4,914

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

Fish20 wrote:

Take train to DC, turn into fly, go to White House, turn into top secret important paper, before he comes in turn into fly again and go under desk turn back into a person then into a mine when he comes in it will go off when he sits down

It'd be a damn shame if they realize you're a duplicate and decide to shred you.


"Creepy crazy fucking idiot Nr. 873894532"-aCol

Wes wrote:

^^ funny
this guy
the most well written and verbose shitposter on the internet

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#15 2016-04-01 03:51:18

Derchin
Member
Registered: 2012-06-13
Posts: 3,007

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

You guys know animals aren't man made right?


"Remember, misery is comfortable. It's why so many people prefer it. Happiness takes effort."

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#16 2016-04-01 05:52:42

TheWake
Illuminatus Sacerdos
From: Yankee-Occupied South
Registered: 2012-06-09
Posts: 8,272

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

If I could have an accomplice I'd morph into a really good sniper rifle and then let him shoot the president somewhere and then morph back so there's no murder weapon.


The Grasshopper Lies Heavy

WsEkePS.png

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#17 2016-04-01 06:27:47

Derchin
Member
Registered: 2012-06-13
Posts: 3,007

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

God wrote:

>morph into cloned sheep
>I am a man-made animal


Let's get around that by saying nothing biological, period.


"Remember, misery is comfortable. It's why so many people prefer it. Happiness takes effort."

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#18 2016-04-01 19:55:45

Fish20
sea creature
From: crabgrass
Registered: 2012-06-11
Posts: 4,563
Website

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

brainiac3397 wrote:
Fish20 wrote:

Take train to DC, turn into fly, go to White House, turn into top secret important paper, before he comes in turn into fly again and go under desk turn back into a person then into a mine when he comes in it will go off when he sits down

It'd be a damn shame if they realize you're a duplicate and decide to shred you.

Nah it'd be a fake top secret paper. Like one that says like fake reports of nuclear launch plans or some shit that is sooo important


There are no clear way to learn it unlike html and css who are actually funny to learn and explore.

Quotes:

sloth wrote:

Hold your head down and you won't get hurt. You'll get exploited, abused and spit on, but hey at least you're safe. Fuck that. I have one life to live, and I'll live it my fucking way. Go on. Stand in my way. See what happens. See what happens when a good guy snaps.

sloth wrote:

There are cemetery for living people. They are called "cubicles". And "assembly line". And "McDonalds". And any other full of shit job you can think about. It's where you are dying every day so you can live on a few select days of your life. If you're not to powered out from working.

loon_attic wrote:

everything is shit and people love it because they're hipster masochists or something

absentinsomniac wrote:

she said to eat her out w/ an ice curbe but nah goodnight lol

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#19 2016-04-01 20:28:09

brainiac3397
Machiavellian Amoeba
From: A Dimension of Pure Insanity
Registered: 2013-12-20
Posts: 4,914

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

If man made then I'd obviously morph into Obama. It takes a man to make a man(and woman)


"Creepy crazy fucking idiot Nr. 873894532"-aCol

Wes wrote:

^^ funny
this guy
the most well written and verbose shitposter on the internet

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#20 2016-04-03 02:18:49

RammsteinFearFactory
A new era has begun.
Registered: 2012-06-09
Posts: 2,558

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

Hijack presidential car, morph into presidential car, park in its space, take Obama for a joyride next time he needs to use that car.


a.

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#21 2016-04-03 02:26:43

Green1
Member
Registered: 2015-10-21
Posts: 713

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

Sneak in. Morph into the Nuclear Football.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_football

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#22 2016-04-03 02:27:27

absentinsomniac
Administrator
Registered: 2012-06-09
Posts: 16,750

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

imblygating they let Obama drive


Fucc

Online

#23 2016-04-03 02:39:08

brainiac3397
Machiavellian Amoeba
From: A Dimension of Pure Insanity
Registered: 2013-12-20
Posts: 4,914

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

Green1 wrote:

Sneak in. Morph into the Nuclear Football.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_football

Hrm kinky eh? Like having men handcuff you and put you on their laps?


"Creepy crazy fucking idiot Nr. 873894532"-aCol

Wes wrote:

^^ funny
this guy
the most well written and verbose shitposter on the internet

Offline

#24 2016-04-03 05:26:27

Green1
Member
Registered: 2015-10-21
Posts: 713

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

brainiac3397 wrote:
Green1 wrote:

Sneak in. Morph into the Nuclear Football.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_football

Hrm kinky eh? Like having men handcuff you and put you on their laps?

Well, it is an object most of his inner circle would see near him.

Unless the aides look at the hidden stash of Presidential porn in there and have it in the lap naked.

Don't ask, Don't tell.

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#25 2016-04-03 11:06:55

Jop
Member
Registered: 2015-08-04
Posts: 36

Re: You can morph into any object, how do you go about killing Obama?

Fish20 wrote:

then into a mine when he comes in it will go off when he sits down

But then you are dead too

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