Topic: Mom of 7 year old trans kid wants to freeze her eggs???
I have a transgender 7 year old daughter. She has become a beautiful, happy, vibrant person since she started transitioning a year ago. I have no reason to think her identity will change and neither does her therapist.
Because she is so young, she will most likely go on puberty blockers before she ever creates sperm. If she then goes onto hormone treatments directly from the blockers, she will be sterile. She will never create sperm.
She’s too young to tell me whether she might someday want biological children, and I strongly suspect, knowing her personality as I do, that she will not want to give up hormone treatments for the length of time it would take to create sperm, because the effects on HER would be, well, significant.
I am in a “Parent of Trans kids” group online and several of the moms mentioned that they were freezing their own eggs for their transgender daughters, so that their daughters could someday have the option of having children who are at least partially related to them. On the one hand, it seems like a huge expense for my daughter to be able to have a child who is a genetic half-sibling… but on the other hand, I see the reasoning. I am also a chronic worrier and I wonder if doing this would cause the child to feel pressured to use the eggs even if they didn’t really want to. :-/
I’m curious what you older (than my 7 year old daughter) folks think about this. Is it a ridiculous idea? My daughter has two half siblings who could conceivably donate eggs or sperm later on in life, and that kind of seems like it might be a better option to me.
If I did this for her, I’d have to do it NOW before I get any older and my eggs deteriorate, but luckily I’m not out of the age window to have healthy eggs right now. I am, however, not in any financial position to do this, though I hear that there may be options to help with that and will look into them if it seems like a good idea.
So… basically I’m just curious to see what the reaction to the idea is, here in this community. I’m leaning towards “probably unnecessary and maybe even a bit weird” but… if someday my daughter wanted it, I’d hate to say I passed up the opportunity to help her.
EDIT: Secondary question, but related. I am in contact with a young transwoman who does have frozen sperm and wants to have biological children. She is not in a good financial place for in vitro, surrogate, all that. I am not comfortable being a surrogate but would be willing to donate eggs to her for free (no reimbursement for my time, and willing to travel to work within her free healthcare system) but I don’t know her that well and don’t know if it’s appropriate to offer or weird? I’ve donated eggs in the past to an anonymous couple, so I know how it works and what to expect. I just don’t know whether it’s something to offer or not. I don’t want to make someone feel weird or obligated… but it could eliminate a portion of the cost, and I have a good track record – I’ve successfully donated before, and have three healthy children. Just not sure how or whether to approach it, I guess…