Topic: Fish's boneless wings
Hey these are "wings" that have no bones and crispy fried. You know what this is!
Start with 3-4 chicken breasts, boneless and skinless, 97% lean or below (use 99% if you want but it's gay)
Cut into 1-1.5 inch (3-4 centimeter) cubes of chicken.
Get a big bowl, pot, or container, and fill halfway with cold water. Make sure it's big enough to fit all the chickens, plus the water covers them. Add (cold) water, then at least 3 tablespoons (45ml) of salt, 3 tablespoons (45ml) of white vinegar, 6-8 black peppercorns, and 2 whole cloves of garlic. This is a brine.
Mix brine and add chickens. Refrigerate for at least 30min, up to 3 hours. If it stays for too long it sucks.
Then, get another bowl and whisk in 1 large egg, 1/2 cup (120ml) of milk, 1/2 cup (120ml) of water. Mix it thorough.
Then get ANOTHER bowl, and mix 2 cups (1/2 liter) of flour, 1 tbsp (15ml) of paprika, 1/4 tablespoon (4ml) of ground cayenne pepper, 2 tsp (10ml) of salt (or 1 tbsp of seasoned salt and 1 tsp of salt), 1/4 teaspoon (2ml) of ground cumin, 1/4 cup (60ml) of cornstarch. Cornstarch isn't optional, unless you want it to suck more, plebs.
Take the chicks out from the brine and immediately drop into the flour mix, roll it around and then plunge it into the egg wash. Use the one dry hand, one wet hand technique. I'm not gonna teach you some basic thing like that. Do it twice for each chick for a double coating (kinky).
Now make the sauce, use 1.5 cups (350ml) of cayenne pepper hot sauce (Franks, Louisiana, Crystal, etc. Or make your own smarty pants), 6tbsp (90ml) of butter (not margarine, fags), 1tbps (15ml) of worcestershire sauce, 2 cloves of garlic, minced, and 1 teaspoon (5ml) of cornstarch. Melt butter then add all the other ingredients, mix till uniform and not lumpy.
Finally, heat some peanut oil (just use a bunch to fill the line in a deep fryer, or if using a large pot, put enough so the chickens can "swim" in it). You can also use soybean or canola oil, or coconut oil if you hate chemically refined oils. Heat oil to 375F (190C) and fry the battered chickens for 4-5 minutes. Fry in batches if you need to.
Let it cool a bit, and fry them again for 1 minute so they are extra crispy.
Coat wings in the sauce and it's done. Serve with blue cheese or ranch or just by itself. You can use a different sauce, like barbecue, mustard, or some other shit, or just plain if you are weird like that. But buffalo is the best.
American food isn't that shit after all! However, our customary units are complete shit