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Be willing to change, if you want something different you have to do something different. Accept responsibility, what you do now will determine what happens in the near, and long term future. You are responsible for creating your own future. Find ideas to try that might get you one step closer to the ideal / better life you want, follow those threads. You don't know all the steps ahead of time, you find new steps as you get to them. Stay the course. Commit to change. If you turn around half way there, you end up back where you started. Be wary of limiting beliefs, and know that progress isn't linear. It won't always feel like you're making progress and you won't always feel likd you're moving. Keep at it.
You don't have to arrive to feel better, you just have to be moving in the right direction.
When you carry around a suspicion that there’s something sort of embarrassing or pathetic about you, you find ways to project that shame onto completely innocuous things. You find ways to tell yourself that everyone is laughing at you behind your back somewhere, possibly at a party where they are serving beautiful tasty drinks but you weren’t invited. You’re too old now. You’re no longer exciting or important. You don’t matter. You never really did.
Shame creates imaginary worlds inside your head. This haunted house you’re creating is forged from your shame. No one else can see it, so you keep trying to describe it to them. You find ways to say, “You don’t want any part of this mess. I’m mediocre, aging rapidly, and poor. Do yourself a favor and leave me behind.” You want to be left behind, though. That way, no one bears witness to what you’ve become.
It’s okay to be in debt and worried. It’s okay to feel lonely and lost. It’s okay to feel tired of trying. It’s okay to want more and wonder how to get it. You’re just a human, this is how we feel a lot. It’s not irregular or aberrant to feel despair. This is part of survival. Your shame is forming your despair into a merciless story about your worth. Don’t let it do that. Build something else from your shame instead.
"People will sometimes choose an incompetent mate because they're intimidated by competence, so they'll settle for someone they don't respect because they feel they can master them and they won't be intimiated. But it's not a recipe for a happy life, I can tell you that."
When in doubt, move north. God bless suomi.
Whoa the OP is dope advice
the alex jones one is great jordan peterson is good sam harris is very good ben sharpio is very good
zoh em gee it s liek another joe rogan peterson bro i bet ur sexist racist white boy haha white ppl r so toxic and evil omg
Anytime you're not supposed to like something per some big group it's probably worth looking into for yourself lol. I don't even agree with everything any of these public people talk about but there's a lot of useful / good stuff from them. At minimum it provides another perspective. The video above gives a decent overview of a evolutionary take on why people act the way they do which is why it's in this thread.
watch the rubin reports with Shapiro and Peterson together, very nice
I've been tryna get better at that but i feel like my flat facial expressions throws people off xD
I'd rather feel not good enough so I have a reason to improve then feel okay with myself and stagnate.
What seemed more problematic to me was that he said you should get to a place where you're legitimately happy with your ex finding someone to be happy with, even right after breaking up. Like you're able to get to a place where you're happy when you see other people being happy. I get that and I agree, but I can't quite imagine myself being happy at the sight of my ex finding a man better suited to her. And maybe that's selfish, but the idea is you get so okay with who you are and you love yourself so much, you're overflowing, so you're happy that other people are doing great. I legitimately am happy for a lot of people when they are winning and succeeding, like my friends especially, but my ex? I want her to be happy I guess, she's a great person, but... I don't know if I could get to a place where I'm happy she's found someone.
It drives me up a wall thinking about her getting fucked by some other guy. My heart rate goes up thinking about it. Plus I haven't been able to get her the fuck out of my mind, except sometimes. I'm working out, eating a bit healthier, drinking less, meeting new people, moved to a new city, none of it matters. I still think about her. I turned off notifications from facebook, everything. I just don't know if I'll be able to get to that place. At least not until I fall in love with someone new. But by then it's kinda besides the point and I didn't organically get to that place, anyway.
It's a hard thing to accept. I disagree though. People are allowed to feel hurt, vulnerable and unhappy. If you are in the place where you say "My ex just broke up with me, but I'm fine, she's doing better" you certainly are a virtuous person.
But, we aren't Buddha. We're human, and we get hurt. Physically and emotionally. What people tend to forget is that it is ok to feel hurt. That it is natural for a human being to want to smash in the head of the guy who is shagging your ex. To be disgusted at the thought.
As a (straight) human male, you are biologically programmed to reproduce. And therefor, you want that to happen with your sperm. When somebody else is with your ex, it isn't your sperm, and that is disappointing. From a biological point of view. I think we keep forgetting what we are (an intermediate species, but we won't talk about that now): human.
There's a lot of talk about how you should behave. How you should feel. Less talk about what you do feel, and why you feel it.
When in doubt, move north. God bless suomi.
I'm probably going to take my friend to a bar but I'll probably just stand around so idefk what to do there. Like,talking to strangers is actually scary as fuck sometimes. Well, it's really hard because I'm not CONFIDENT and CAPABLE of conversation. What the fuck do you do, like you walk in, order a drink, and just stand there right? ugh it hurts to think about. but what are you supposed to do?
find a seat and chill, if it's so packed there's nowhere to sit it's pretty awkward unless you have a group of people to hang out with and even then it's a bit awkward
i always try to find somewhere to sit down and stare at girls and chat
when I go to bars alone I just sit at the bar and hang out until someone eventually starts chatting me up, ordering drinks, maybe smalltalk with the bartender
For me the best part is that you think more in terms of wanting a relationship rather than just porn-like situations. And so it makes it easier to act in a way that would accomplish that. Like if you were jerking off every day it's more like you want the hookup type thing. Then after 4 or 5 days you think how it'd be nice to have a partner and it's kinda on your mind constantly after about a week. I haven't fully tested the potential of this, I imagine you'd be better at getting someone to go out with you since interacting with them means much more than before.
I just generally feel like I have more energy when I'm not jerking it twice a day. The hard thing is falling asleep. I don't necessarily want to be more invested in people when I meet, as girls who I invest more in than they do in me tend to not like me. The best results come when I'm more invested in my own life and shit than in them, and they know at the end of the day, I don't need them or anyone else.